Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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