as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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