your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
