She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
