And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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