We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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