I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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