did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
