so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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