i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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