I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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