I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
