all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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