Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
