the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
