wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
