WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
