My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How's work?
Spinning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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