Plan B is the new Plan A
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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