My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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