FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
