I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
