he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
