Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
