I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
