Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
