Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
