i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
