Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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