Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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