so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
