he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
