No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
