Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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