either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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