My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
