you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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