he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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