Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.

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  (973): don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping. http://tfl.nu/d4lu
  Replies (15) Good night (892) Bad night (2191)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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  (443): dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though. http://tfl.nu/36m5
  Replies (27) Good night (6720) Bad night (1100)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?

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  (479): Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one? http://tfl.nu/0w3a
  Replies (55) Good night (966) Bad night (6602)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4161) Bad night (1419)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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  (503): And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container.... http://tfl.nu/xfht
  Replies (16) Good night (1600) Bad night (3328)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked

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  (613): who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked http://tfl.nu/fbnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2637) Bad night (658)
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  (408): View more from California

  You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.

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  (408): You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed. http://tfl.nu/u516
  Replies (7) Good night (1097) Bad night (2153)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy

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  (256): Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy http://tfl.nu/ele7
  Replies (7) Good night (1243) Bad night (733)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.

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  (204): Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water. http://tfl.nu/bq5w
  Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (1123)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (928) Bad night (792)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

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  (917): "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro http://tfl.nu/gyn9
  Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (1981)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

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  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2175) Bad night (563)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

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  (413): Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday http://tfl.nu/bix3
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (233)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?

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  (902): I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it? http://tfl.nu/w0e4
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (331)
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  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (197) Bad night (569)

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