she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Couch. On fire.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
