Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

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  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (876)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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  (507): drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to http://tfl.nu/z3ca
  Replies (14) Good night (3622) Bad night (831)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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  (773): So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/dnnn
  Replies (29) Good night (863) Bad night (2890)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea

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  (608): Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea http://tfl.nu/i55m
  Replies (16) Good night (860) Bad night (5850)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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  (709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy
  Replies (19) Good night (5973) Bad night (704)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

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  (210): it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it. http://tfl.nu/7f8c
  Replies (27) Good night (4583) Bad night (957)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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  (682): While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird. http://tfl.nu/l3im
  Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (4174)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?

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  (863): she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know? http://tfl.nu/bmzo
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (4537)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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  (816): votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads http://tfl.nu/utdd
  Replies (8) Good night (1028) Bad night (2090)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Lube is flammable

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who is this??

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  (502): Lube is flammable (404): Who is this?? http://tfl.nu/y4u7
  Replies (19) Good night (3925) Bad night (874)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again

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  (704): I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again http://tfl.nu/6zh5
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (658)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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  (707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"

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  (617): So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?" http://tfl.nu/5su3
  Replies (3) Good night (2516) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.

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  (609): You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS. http://tfl.nu/8bi8
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me

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  (772): Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me http://tfl.nu/3ivl
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (235)

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