sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
