i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do vagina's smell?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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