You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
