just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
