So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
