no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
