You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
