Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
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Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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