I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
