Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
