my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
