Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
