Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
