Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
