Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
