i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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