Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize