guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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