eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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