I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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