found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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