So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
