i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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