Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My vagina is officially offended.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
