the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
