her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
